NRC: Last Laughs

Jamelle Bouie tweeted of the Eastwood spectacle: This is a perfect representation of the campaign: an old white man arguing with an imaginary Barack Obama.

The Borowitz Report:

In a development that the Republican campaign is sure to find troubling, a new poll of likely voters showed nominee Mitt Romney trailing badly behind the empty chair Clint Eastwood talked to onstage at the Republican National Convention in Tampa.

When asked the question, “Who cares more about people like me?” thirty-seven per cent of voters responded, “Mitt Romney,” while fifty-two per cent said, “Chair.”

And earlier:
TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)—Coining a phrase that seems destined to become his new campaign slogan, Mitt Romney needed only three words tonight to accept the Republican Presidential nomination: “I bought it.”

Those words had a special meaning for Mr. Romney, who had to spend seventy million dollars in the G.O.P. primaries to defeat a serial adulterer, a former pizza executive, and a crackpot in a sweater-vest.

It has been an up-and-down convention for Mr. Romney, who was largely ignored at Tea Party rallies early in the week but later picked up a key endorsement from his wife.

Tonight, however, was a time to reflect, as he put it, “on money well spent.”

He made an emotional appeal to a group he called “the single-issue billionaires,” imploring them, “Let me know what you want. Eliminate the E.P.A.? Bomb Iran? Mitt Romney is open for business.” The audience roared its approval.

Ultimately, he ended his speech with a rousing call to arms that brought the Republican audience to its feet: “The road to the White House will be hard, and strewn with challenges. But together, there’s nothing we can’t buy.”